After listening to my audio book and podcasts, I decided it was time to have that ‘clear out’. The one where they recommend you get rid of all those clothes you have been hanging onto for years, in the hope one day you will fit back into them or they will motivate you to keep losing the weight. It was time to let go and besides they were taking up far to much room in my cupboard and they had to go!
I was very geared up and I thought ready to do this but this process has been way harder than I thought it would be. I’m actually really struggling with it. I guess I’m struggling because I have had this image in my head for 20 odd years of how I thought I wanted to look. And this image was always my goal. When I started intuitive eating I knew I was saying goodbye to that and my goal has changed but getting rid of these clothes has made it very real and it’s actually a lot tougher to give that up than I thought it would be. I’ve powered through and made myself clear them out but it’s made me actually strangely emotional. It’s really bloody hard to let go of that image! Why isn’t it easier just to let it go! I keep looking at the bags and thinking maybe I could keep just one top! It doesn’t help that no charity shops are open at the moment so the bags are still in the house. I’m even pretty gutted that there are some items that have still got the tags on and I won’t get to wear them!
I know, I know. I shouldn’t care! They are only clothes. The crazy thing is some of those clothes I’d forgotten I even had, it must be nearly a decade since I’ve worn some of them. But getting rid of them is a very weird feeling and really not how I was expecting to feel about this stage in the journey. I was expecting to feel liberated and the fact I don’t is disappointing.
This should be a positive step, so I’m going listen to my audio book and various podcasts, seek some support from facebook groups and family members who are also doing intuitive eating and hope I can eventually feel liberated! I’ll let you know how it goes. Thank you for reading, stay safe and happy eating!